do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
