I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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