there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize