WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
