I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
