I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
vagina is talking i cant
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
