if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
