so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
