Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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