help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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