based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
