So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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