Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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