This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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