How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
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Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
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Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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