the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
