but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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