i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
pop tarts are not kleenex
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
