some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
