I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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