Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
