You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
