Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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