You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
