Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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