I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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