Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
