He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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