Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
