Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just googled if crying burns calories
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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