i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
