I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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