Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
