my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
