Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Randomize
