ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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