your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
