im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
