drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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