dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We have started to decorate penises.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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