I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
