Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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