Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
