So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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