3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
