Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
