can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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