Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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