You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think your dad took our porno
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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