well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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