My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
