someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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