on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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