none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
