handjob tips. give me some.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize