I think I am morally bankrupt
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
