see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
