you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
