it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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