i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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