is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
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