I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
